I'm dying, me
Process by which unremarkable ailments can be made to sound rather more exotic and fascinating, simply by applying a deft blend of self-pity, reliance on the genuine concern of others, a comedy-level of exaggeration and a passing knowledge of some of those very handy "You too can be a Doctor, just learn all these big words" websites. In everyday life, this allows the common cold to pass itself off as Influenza. On irc, however, the stakes are upped to the point where a bout of indigestion can become a crippling, yet bafflingly undiagnosable condition of the small intestine. Note that however disabling your chosen condition may be, you will always retain use of your typing fingers, so other channel members may monitor your final hours and make sympathetic noises. Or just ignore you.
Auto import 14:41, 19 October 2009 (UTC)