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Also known as the black food drink this beverage is almost perfect in every way, apart from its gut-forming side effects. Not so long ago, Guinness was only available in a luke-warm, Bay Worthingtons or whatever-temperature-I-keep-my-barrels-at-mate (See Innuendo) state. However, this problem has been eradicated by the introduction of the 'Extra Cold' form enabling pint-suppers to enjoy Guinness at 4 degrees celcius. Thus classifying the drink as 'As cold as lager but far better than that pissy shit'. Sadly, long term Guinness drinking does have its disadvantages. An intolerably large gut is the first effect, enabling the drinker to balance a mini bar on their waist and thus cause a spiral effect worsening the problem. The second effect is reducing ones faeces to material found at a tar pit, usually leaving nasty incriminating stains on the inside of ones porcelain throne. By a complicated process of logical deduction the solution is clear. Drink a lot of Guinness, Shit a lot and blame ones housemates whilst catagorically denying everything.

Auto import 14:43, 19 October 2009 (UTC)