Aber TV:Chapter 2

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#Aber TV Episode 2

6.00 am Saarlax Sets Mode

The graveyard shift starts with precisely 12 channel limit changes per hour and perhaps the occasional ping timeout. This week: Saarlax quietly contemplates his life in a cupboard next to a fridge-freezer. With Saarlax. (repeat)


8.00am Morning URL Worship

The day starts off with our daily penance to the World Wide Web, involving a collection of seemingly random URLs, often pointing to some of the strangest and most disturbing sites on the web. With Sixxie, who may or may not follow URL submissions with a small emote.


9.00am Career Breakfast

The day starts in earnest as the people who actually work for a living get to work and start doing whatever it is they claim to do. This week: Owf leaves in a storming rage when someone belittles his job. With Owf.


10.00am World Shocker Highlights

The highlights of the morning's news from the BBC, Slashdot and The Register pasted to channel in huge chunks or using URLs, followed by forthright, generalizing right wing political statements. With Stuii. [news may not be true]


11.00am Discovery of the Mystery Infolines

Classic cinema in which channel members arrive to find that their infolines have been mysteriously changed by an unknown force. This week: The gang discover that changes in their infoline often reflect social events of the previous night, but will they ever learn? [repeat]


12.30pm Businews

The daily business news roundup, including latest developments concerning computer hardware vendors, rogue ISPs with questionable policies, and the price of property in the South. With Ricey and Lambie.


2.00 pm Guru

Regular soap-drama. This week, a piece of code fails to compile. Sure in their superior knowledge, the lead character concludes that their compiler simply must have a bug or for some reason is unable to parse their code properly. With Mooky and special guest Surfr as Emperor Of Computer Science.


3.00pm Reminisci-Hour

With new hosts Dyn and Alleycat (who voluntarily come to the channel to host the show), Reminisci-Hour returns with more amazing stories about "the old days" [tm] and how the channel is now shit in comparison. This programme was never on in the old days. With Dyn and Alleycat. [repeat]


4.00pm Pissing Contest II

The ever popular fast paced knowledge blagging show returns with an extended edition featuring computer science types urinating on each other as they try to get one up on each other in an excruciating pedantic fashion with their seemingly endless amounts of computer related knowledge and excessive arrays of hardware. This week's show covers tips and tricks on how to get out of an argument that you know you've lost by unplugging the modem, pretending to go out, or otherwise avoid facing your shame. With Surfr and Fermit.


6.00pm Modem Mayhem Popular game show in which hoards of modem users with off-peak Internet dialup packages try to beat the channel limiter by joining all at the same time; and with success, proceeding to manifest their complete inability to wait for up to four minutes for the bot to change the limit.


7.00pm The Weakest Link

Essentially the popular BBC show hosted by Anne Robinson relayed to the channel, with random interjections similar to "YOU UTTER UTTER TOSSER" and such like. With Mr_Scod.


8.30pm FILM Where The Wilderbeast Roam

Our evening feature film epic starring channel members displaying advanced symptoms of Rampaging Wilderbeast Syndrome. With such classic quotes as "You've filled my buffer" and "Stop that, you'll cause a netsplit", this is a truly unmissable viewing experience ..claims vagrant.


10.30pm Newsweek: Refugee Crisis

This week's edition covers the massive influx of rejects and reprobates from other channels. In an unprecedented series of events, the average channel count has increased greatly with fresh, new people, who have no regard for "the old days". Is this acceptable, or should these vagrants be branded "gaytwats", even though we haven't really had a chance to get to know them? Is it different from an #england invasion? And do they have a right to bring their filthy Mac-using ways into our domain? Discuss.


12.00am Lon Dyfi

Adult soap-drama. Catalyst discovers he holds new power over Robstar by withholding supplies of bog roll after a heavy night on the indian, with incredible consequences. With the ***6 cronies.


1.00am Stop That and Tidy Up

Woodsta hosts another round of barking rapid and concise orders at channel members, who must quickly retort with similar monosyllabic words in order win the star prize. This week: Answer The Fucking Question: Woodsta challenges the people of Twickenham to become literate. With Woodsta.


2.00am Vague News

Late night headlines from the #aber news agency, fresh with reports of news that is so vague that it's probably true in some part of the world. Includes special follow-up report on last night's "WOMAN DIES" headline. (news may not have been verified by Dyn's pager)


3.00am RiceyRant.Net

Ricey's nightly barrage of swearing, shouting and abuse concerning the Internet and in particular certain technologies used within it. This week: The tragedy that is dark grey text on black backgrounds. With Ricey.


5.00am Jimbob Goes To Work

Whilst most normal people, even students, are tucked up in bed, madman Jimbob is going to work. This week: Jimbob becomes a milkman. No real milkmen were harmed in the production of this programme. With Jimbob.